God wants you to have awesome friendships.
Join Chuck and Betsy Stokes as they help make sense of our relational lives: romantic, friendly, family, and even awkward. Make the most of every moment (including the unhappy ones) to build connections and enjoy one another.
Listen to their audio curriculum below. In "Core Teachings," you'll learn step-by-step how to rock your relationships so you can really enjoy the people around you and they can love you better, too. These teachings are proven training from the Center for Relational Care (who train professional therapists and certify nonprofessionals like Chuck and Betsy).
"Date to Win" is Chuck's series on dating. (He's a professor of sociology who studies dating, marriage, and family.) There are a couple episodes under "Other Stuff" that might interest you, too.
Chuck and Betsy also sponsor the Samford University Catholic Student Association and host a weekly Home Group for college students, in partnership with St. Stephen the Martyr University Chapel. For more information on their ministry to college students, click here or contact them (button below).
Listen to their audio curriculum below. In "Core Teachings," you'll learn step-by-step how to rock your relationships so you can really enjoy the people around you and they can love you better, too. These teachings are proven training from the Center for Relational Care (who train professional therapists and certify nonprofessionals like Chuck and Betsy).
"Date to Win" is Chuck's series on dating. (He's a professor of sociology who studies dating, marriage, and family.) There are a couple episodes under "Other Stuff" that might interest you, too.
Chuck and Betsy also sponsor the Samford University Catholic Student Association and host a weekly Home Group for college students, in partnership with St. Stephen the Martyr University Chapel. For more information on their ministry to college students, click here or contact them (button below).
"We are two flawed people with our own messes and plenty of potential for failed relationships. But we're doing great and being sanctified through marriage, because people who cared about us taught us important skills based on timeless principles."
—Chuck and Betsy
—Chuck and Betsy
"Rock Your Relationships" Audio Curriculum
Core Teachings
1) Emotional Responding [mp3]
Rock your relationships by rocking your responses! Avoid the emotional turmoil of unhelpful responses that can cause alienation instead of connection. Click here to print your free practice guide.
2) The Emotional Cup [mp3]
Deal with your emotions, or they will deal with you. Find your joy by making room in your emotional cup for positive emotions and sincere happiness. Click here to download your Emotional Cup fill-in. After listening, catch your three-minute review of the Emotional Cup on Youtube here.
3) Dealing with Hurt [mp3]
We promise this core teaching isn't depressing! We all get hurt. Why not learn to deal with it well? We can offer and receive comfort, just like Jesus.
4) Giving and Receiving Comfort [mp3]
Comforting a friend's hurt isn't complicated. It's as simple as entering into his pain with him so that he isn't alone in it. Receiving comfort for your hurt doesn't only feel good; it's absolutely necessary for your mental health and growth.
5) Receiving Comfort from God [mp3]
God cares for our emotions and wants to enter into them with us. He has emotions, too. Find out five steps for receiving comfort from God so that you can feel better, avoid sinful responses, and more easily forgive. Download your prayer guide here.
6) Dealing with Anger [mp3]
When hurt builds up in our emotional cups, anger can emerge. Anger allows us to feel tougher and safer and less like a victim of the hurt. But it can also put up walls that are hard to bring back down. Forgiveness is the key to emptying anger from your emotional cup and making room for peace and happiness.
7) Dealing with Fear [mp3]
There are two main kinds of fear: emotional and mental. Emotional fear is based on hurt (like anger is), and it's a response to potential future hurt that we are trying to avoid. Mental fear is based on lies. Emotional fear is treated with comfort and reassurance, and mental fear is treated with truth.
8) Guilt, False Guilt [mp3]
When dealing with guilt (a healthy emotion) and false guilt (an unhealthy one), the first step is to sort them apart. Handle true guilt with confession. Deal with false guilt soundly and quickly, or it can ferment into shame and condemnation.
9) Shame and Condemnation [mp3]
Shame is an emotion; condemnation is the "reality" that causes it. How "real" is your condemnation? Is there any reason not to accept God's identity for you instead? You'll find this identity at the intersection of Faith and Church.
10) Obstacles to Intimacy [mp3]
When our emotional cups are full of negative and false emotions, they can overflow into some messy piles that come between ourselves and true friendship. We talk about the three main Obstacles to Intimacy: Self-Reliance, Self-Condemnation, and Selfish Taking. Click here for a resource to read along as you listen.
11) Introduction to Relational Needs [mp3]
Learn how to fill your emotional cup and others' with positive emotions by enjoying one another and meeting relational needs. Click here to take our Relational Needs Assessment and find out which relational needs you are feeling the most lately!
12) Meeting Needs, Making Connections [mp3]
This is our final "core teaching." Listen to all the episodes and apply what you've learned to become a friend powerhouse! You'll know (1) how to deal with your emotions so they won't deal with you, (2) the ten relational needs we all have, (3) why God created us "needy," (4) how to communicate your needs, meet the needs of others, and receive care when you need it, and (4) how to make sure you are relating in a healthy way with zero-percent manipulation!
Date to Win
Date to Win #1 [mp3]
Don't just date; date to win! If marriage is the finish line, why wander around the racetrack wasting time with the world's idea of dating? Learn (1) the three Ts of how we communicate intimacy to the opposite sex, (2) the intimacy pyramid and how to make it work for you, and (3) the relationship version of toxic nuclear waste.
Date to Win #2 [mp3]
Find out the biggest mistake people make in how they approach the goals of dating. This happens both inside and outside of the Church. You might be surprised that you aren't training for the prize that you actually want.
Date to Win #3 [mp3]
Getting the flowers and the ceremony right is important for the big day, but getting virtues and character right is important for all the days after that. Chuck and Betsy talk about how to make yourself marriage material (a hot commodity).
Other Stuff
What is Intimacy Theory [mp3]
Inside Out review [mp3]
Copyright 2019. The "Core Teachings" of this audio curriculum are a mix of our original content and content owned by Intimate Life Ministries. Intimacy theory was created by Dr. David Ferguson and Dr. Bruce Walker. "Date to Win" content is original content owned by Dr. Chuck Stokes and is based on his research. If you need professional Christian counseling, we recommend the same people who counseled and trained us, The Center for Relational Care.
—Chuck and Betsy
—Chuck and Betsy